Beauty is what beauty does. You’ve heard that Southern saying, right? There is truth in that statement. At this age (and even younger), our girls awaken to a culture obsessed with beauty. It’s wise to begin teaching them the truth of “what” makes them beautiful – a beautiful heart!

For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7

These are the very years in which my father taught us Beauty 101! His first lesson: memorize this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. I strongly encourage you and your little girls to memorize this together.

There is no beautifier of form or complexion than the wish to scatter joy and not pain around you.

As an elementary student, I recall Dad’s words: “Girls, there isn’t a beauty cream that you can buy, not one, that will make you as beautiful as possessing a joyful heart – a heart willing to scatter joy and not pain around you!”

I was glued to his every word – on the edge of my seat, taking in this beauty truth. I believed him – every word. Why wouldn’t I? He was our handsome Prince! Respected, loved, adored, and admired – a man to be believed.

I decided that very day to be a “scatterer” of joy! It made perfect sense to me. People who scatter pain around them, well… let’s put it this way; they weren’t too cute. Wink.

Dad’s second beauty truth:

My outward appearance is only a frame around my inward qualities.

It’s the “picture” that counts! Our little women need this one too. Remember 1 Samuel 16:7; the Lord looks on the heart.

Dad encouraged us to prioritize the heart. Beauty is an inside job!

Acts of kindness and generosity. Giving words of encouragement. Be an includer. Look for the wallflower in a room and make them feel comfortable. Serve and love others as Jesus did. Jesus Himself is the inside work of true beauty! He is picture perfect! Read Isaiah 53. Precious Jesus!

One of my earliest prayers for Katie and Emory was that the Lord would give them a spirit like Mary. Listen to her words:

Behold, I am the servant of the Lord. Let it be to me according to Your word.
Luke 1:38

God favored her and chose her because of her servant spirit. She magnified the Lord, her spirit rejoiced in God her Savior. She was humble; she recognized her lowly estate before Him. She revered God as holy. She understood His mercy is for those who fear Him from generation to generation. My prayer is that the girls would fear Him, respect Him, honor Him, love Him, believe Him. Just as Mary did!

Father, give the girls a spirit (attitude) such as Mary.

Scripture Prayers for Your Girls

 

Proverbs 31:12
In context, this verse refers to a husband/wife relationship. This a beautiful character quality for all women. Single or married.
She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
Pray: Father, may she do him (others) good and not evil all the days of her life.
(perfectly fitting to our earlier quote: one who scatters joy and not pain)

Proverbs 31:26
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness in on her tongue.
Pray: Father, give Katie and Emory wisdom and kindness in speech.

Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Pray: Father, may Katie and Emory fear You first always. Fearing You in worship, obedience, service, trusting You always.

1 Peter 3:4
Let your adorning (cosmetic) be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
Pray: Father, give Katie and Emory a gentle and quiet spirit. Not a silent spirit (as for many years I misinterpreted this), but a spirit that speaks strength, confidence, truth, wisdom, and respect in a gentle and quite manner. (It’s the way it is said that matters.)

With that said, there are times when ‘silence is golden.’ Actions speak louder than words!

Speaking of actions… Katie, in high school, chose Romans 12:1-2 for her life governing verse. Katie says she still prays this passage regularly as a 30-year-old mom today.

Emory, as a senior, chose Psalm 34:5. Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. Emory’s present favorite is Psalm 45:11 – And the King will desire your beauty since He is Your LORD bow to him.

With all that said, remember this foundational truth – The Holy Spirit who you have received from the Father, the Spirit that is the anointing of Jesus will teach you concerning all things!

Abide in Him and ask Him.
John 14:26 & 1 John 2:27-28

He is waiting to answer you (and your girls)!

 

This series, “Bring Them Up,” is based on Ephesian 6:4, “(Parents) bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”  It’s our job – moms – to bring them up to maturity!

First, I shared an overview focusing on our parental relationship, the right fuel, and the road ahead.  Now, we are in the middle of examining our roles at different stages and ages.

Ages	Our Role
0-5	Caretaker
6-12	Coach
13-17	Counselor
18+	Consultant

Ages 13-17
Our Role = Counselor

Pray, people pray!  At this stage, you are praying like never before!  The reason – peer influence is paramount.  The voice of the world is loud and chaotic, often drowning out that “still small voice.”  The voice, of His Spirit.

There’s no need to panic in these years of “uncharted waters.”  Remain confident and calm that Jesus will speak to them.  From ages 0-12, you’ve given a ton (a slew) of direction, instruction, correction, and guidance.  Lot’s of “coaching” – see last week’s article.  This is the time to choose your words carefully.  Guard yourself from giving too many words – like a good counselor would do!

Your girls are becoming women and trying to figure “that” out.  Whew!  Do we ever get “that” figured out?  Next week – girl talk, counseling little women.

 

This Week: Counseling Little Men

Your boys are becoming men, and men feel disrespected if mom’s words come across belittling, humiliating, berating, or demeaning.  (Same for a wife to husband too.)  Protect your little men’s manhood by allowing them to become the man God intended them to be.  Respect speaks love and affirmation.  It also builds self-esteem.  Our guys need it, ladies.  Pour it on!

The following well-known verse is given in the context of male-female relationships – wives to husbands.  There is a principle that applies to raising sons as well.

But (women, moms) let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
1 Peter 3:4

If God likes it, our guys will too!

 

Enlist Big Men with Little Men

When Will turned 12, I began to notice he wasn’t as “quick” to respond to my instruction.  We’ve always had a sweet relationship.  I didn’t want to jeopardize that if my life depended on it!  So, I sought the Lord… the Lord impressed me to have Mike step in to give Will instruction, especially the things that make a man a man –  responsibility!  Mike did, and that did it!

Will’s respect for Mike grew – an added benefit to every relationship in the home!  And, Will and I continued to enjoy a sweet relationship – until this very day!

Power of Praying Scripture

No matter what the age, there is tremendous power in praying Scripture over your child.  This practice never stops!

God listens for His Word in our prayers – Rick Renner, author of Sparkling Gems.  The Father agrees with His Word because He has exalted His Name and His Word!

For you have exalted above all things your name and your word.
Psalm 138:2

 

Powerful Scriptures for Your Little Men

Pray that your young men would love God and others.  Even Jesus said this was the greatest!

And He said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment.  And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor (others) as yourself.  On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
Matthew 22:37-40

Pray that God makes him a man like Daniel.  (Will asked us to pray David, for him too!)

God gave them (Daniel) learning and skill in all literature and wisdom
Daniel 1:17

Pray that God makes him a man of prayer.

Daniel… got down on his knees three times a day and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as he had done previously. 
Daniel 6:10-11

Pray he is wise and leads others to righteousness – that he’s all about discipleship and the gospel.

And those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky above;
and those who turn many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.
Daniel 12:3

Pray that he shines as a light in this world, holding fast to the word of life!

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.
Philippians 2:14-16

Pray he is an example in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity.

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12 NIV

* Next week – girl talk, counseling little women. *