Moms Counseling Teenage Girls on Beauty


Beauty is what beauty does. You’ve heard that Southern saying, right? There is truth in that statement. At this age (and even younger), our girls awaken to a culture obsessed with beauty. It’s wise to begin teaching them the truth of “what” makes them beautiful – a beautiful heart!

For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7

These are the very years in which my father taught us Beauty 101! His first lesson: memorize this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. I strongly encourage you and your little girls to memorize this together.

There is no beautifier of form or complexion than the wish to scatter joy and not pain around you.

As an elementary student, I recall Dad’s words: “Girls, there isn’t a beauty cream that you can buy, not one, that will make you as beautiful as possessing a joyful heart – a heart willing to scatter joy and not pain around you!”

I was glued to his every word – on the edge of my seat, taking in this beauty truth. I believed him – every word. Why wouldn’t I? He was our handsome Prince! Respected, loved, adored, and admired – a man to be believed.

I decided that very day to be a “scatterer” of joy! It made perfect sense to me. People who scatter pain around them, well… let’s put it this way; they weren’t too cute. Wink.

Dad’s second beauty truth:

My outward appearance is only a frame around my inward qualities.

It’s the “picture” that counts! Our little women need this one too. Remember 1 Samuel 16:7; the Lord looks on the heart.

Dad encouraged us to prioritize the heart. Beauty is an inside job!

Acts of kindness and generosity. Giving words of encouragement. Be an includer. Look for the wallflower in a room and make them feel comfortable. Serve and love others as Jesus did. Jesus Himself is the inside work of true beauty! He is picture perfect! Read Isaiah 53. Precious Jesus!

One of my earliest prayers for Katie and Emory was that the Lord would give them a spirit like Mary. Listen to her words:

Behold, I am the servant of the Lord. Let it be to me according to Your word.
Luke 1:38

God favored her and chose her because of her servant spirit. She magnified the Lord, her spirit rejoiced in God her Savior. She was humble; she recognized her lowly estate before Him. She revered God as holy. She understood His mercy is for those who fear Him from generation to generation. My prayer is that the girls would fear Him, respect Him, honor Him, love Him, believe Him. Just as Mary did!

Father, give the girls a spirit (attitude) such as Mary.

Scripture Prayers for Your Girls


Proverbs 31:12
In context, this verse refers to a husband/wife relationship. This a beautiful character quality for all women. Single or married.
She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
Pray: Father, may she do him (others) good and not evil all the days of her life.
(perfectly fitting to our earlier quote: one who scatters joy and not pain)

Proverbs 31:26
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness in on her tongue.
Pray: Father, give Katie and Emory wisdom and kindness in speech.

Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Pray: Father, may Katie and Emory fear You first always. Fearing You in worship, obedience, service, trusting You always.

1 Peter 3:4
Let your adorning (cosmetic) be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
Pray: Father, give Katie and Emory a gentle and quiet spirit. Not a silent spirit (as for many years I misinterpreted this), but a spirit that speaks strength, confidence, truth, wisdom, and respect in a gentle and quite manner. (It’s the way it is said that matters.)

With that said, there are times when ‘silence is golden.’ Actions speak louder than words!

Karen Emory (12) Katie (19) in 2005

Karen, Emory (12), Katie (19) in 2005

Speaking of actions… Katie, in high school, chose Romans 12:1-2 for her life governing verse. Katie says she still prays this passage regularly as a 30-year-old mom today.

Emory, as a senior, chose Psalm 34:5. Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. Emory’s present favorite is Psalm 45:11 – And the King will desire your beauty since He is Your LORD bow to him.

With all that said, remember this foundational truth – The Holy Spirit who you have received from the Father, the Spirit that is the anointing of Jesus will teach you concerning all things!

Abide in Him and ask Him.
John 14:26 & 1 John 2:27-28

He is waiting to answer you (and your girls)!


5 responses »

  1. I absolutely love getting your wisdom in my inbox! Thank you for so faithfully instructing other moms. This is SUCH a blessing! XOXO

  2. I always enjoy reading your posts. I seem to only get them on Friday. Is that the only day they are supposed to come through? I sent my niece the one I got about reading to young children and telling them about Jesus. Not that she wasn’t already; but I thought it was worth sharing!

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